my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
