I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I AM VODKA MAN
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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