Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
