I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
