sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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