Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You are the jesus of drinking
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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