i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
