Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
