What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
