ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize