We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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