i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
