I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
