Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
