My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
