bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
