i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
