They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
