did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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