direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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