You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
