i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
