And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
