So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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