we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
