goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
