i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
