My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
