yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
