They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
