Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
