It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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