Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
