she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
