STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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