The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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