Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
