does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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