It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
