4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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