Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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