After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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