I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
