how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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