I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
