It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
