in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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