I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize