your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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