why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
