Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
