And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Did you pee in the oven last night??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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