she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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