I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
