omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
