Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
