O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
