I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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