I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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