I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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