these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
