So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
