I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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